Author: Cameron Fairchild
“What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be?”
“It will be.”
“And what if it is? What do I do then?”
“Well, that’s the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.”
From Tangled, and, miraculously, Kingdom Hearts III
I started this column because I am fascinated in the ways film (and in the case of this article, video games, hence the “Special Edition” tag) does and does not worm its way into the public conscious, and how it emerges in my conscious as opposed to or in tandem with that public conscious. I don’t usually like to get too personal or anecdotal in my writing. I try, perhaps fallaciously, to separate my feelings from the process of analysis.
I can’t feign separation this time. I love Kingdom Hearts, and I love Kingdom Hearts III, the long-awaited and brilliant final-ish chapter in the almost 20-year-old saga. Friends, I’m fully in the cult on this one, and believe when I say it is a cult. Hyper-dedicated fans have spent the series’ 17 years dissecting, loving, and turning this needlessly complicated work over and over to the point that one would think it could maybe, finally, be explained. This is not the case. Kingdom Hearts’ incomprehensible plot and inconsistent thematic messaging may stand above mine and others’ analytical faculties, but Kingdom Hearts can’t be understood. It can only be felt.
If you don’t know, Kingdom Hearts is a series of video games about a spiky haired anime kid named Sora and his adventures into and out of various analogues for heaven and hell as he searches for his friends, losing memories and collecting Jungian shadow-selves and robot versions of himself and his lost memories and his friends’ lost memories and. Also there Disney characters. Donald and Goofy are your Final Fantasy-style party members. It’s wholesome and weird and grim, all at once. At many points in KHIII you can summon one of those things from the river rapids ride at Disneyland, and it attacks the demons and gods and dark, manifested reflections of one’s inner demons with Sora and Donald and Goofy riding in it. They all cheer because, in the heat of battle, they are having fun on the ride. For a moment, pure, unembarrassed joy becomes a powerful force against unspeakable evil. I can’t explain this series, its appeal, or its ethos any clearer than that.
I love this misshapen thing very much. Playing the games through middle school, and high school, and right now as I type this, Kingdom Hearts provokes in me an immediate sense of nostalgia and warmth, a feeling so powerful and dangerous that it strips me entirely of my ability to rationally perceive the thing in front of me. Kingdom Hearts, the original PS2 game released in 2002, is inarguably one of the greatest masterworks ever conceived, even though it isn’t. The plotline of the series is needlessly convoluted, and I should say that the storytelling instincts of series director Tetsuyo Nomura are downright bad! But I won’t, because I’ve invested years and years of my life into understanding every little needless detail and justifying every plot hole. I feel like an annoying person because I love this thing! Sometimes you’ve gotta be annoying to fully express stuff, because unironic attachment is a terrifying thing and I think we are all, on some level, afraid to feel things deeply. Kingdom Hearts is not afraid to feel things deeply.
It took 13 years for Kingdom Hearts III to come out after the release of KHII in 2006. 13 years! And in that time the series released like thirty handheld games that are all absolutely crucial to the story! And I bought every console, and every game, and all of it! I gave Square Enix all my money and then I gave them more! I should hate Kingdom Hearts.
But I do not because I love Kingdom Hearts. And Kingdom Hearts III came out today (read: January 29th, 2019) and I paid 80 bucks to get the functionally identical Deluxe Edition and it’s so good, you guys, I’m in love with it. I woke up at 1 AM last night (read: also Jan 29th) because I could not focus on sleep in a world in which I did not finally possess the game. I have not gone to sleep since! I am very tired. I cannot feel my face. I thought this article would be a good idea, that’s how much I love Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts III. (Author note: I did sleep in between then and the time I redrafted this, so we can all rest easy knowing that I’m doing great.)
Kingdom Hearts III is everything I dreamed it would be, and it—and Kingdom Hearts as a whole—gives me the courage to keep dreaming new dreams (This is how everyone speaks, all the time, in Kingdom Hearts, and so must I, now). Thank you, Square Enix, and thank you, monarch-corporation Disney. Kingdom Hearts III is everything it could have been and so, so much more.
CAMERON FAIRCHILD | Yikes | KXSU Arts Reporter