Author: Allison Yang
Walking into Town Hall, I felt the same buzz of excitement I experience before every concert I go to. It’s the realization that you’re about to be in the presence of someone whose work resonates so deeply with you. Only this time I wasn’t going to a concert; I was at Michelle Zauner’s book talk for her 2021 New York Times best-selling memoir Crying in H Mart. Funnily enough, the last time I saw Zauner was when her indie pop band, Japanese Breakfast, came to town. Although her band is called Japanese Breakfast, Zauner is actually half-Korean. Her Korean identity is a central theme in Crying in H Mart as she unpacks her mother’s death through food and culture.
The talk was moderated by Jane Park, a Korean-American digital creator based in Seattle. She welcomed Zauner, who was raised in Eugene, Oregon, back to the Pacific Northwest. Zauner joked about the unusually good weather we had that day, and it was clear she was happy to be in the Pacific Northwest again after living on the East Coast for several years.
Looking around the sold-out venue, I was pleasantly surprised by the diversity of the audience but wondered if it was difficult for non-Korean readers to relate to the book. The reason I picked up Crying in H Mart and feel such a personal connection to it stems from Zauner and I’s shared experiences as half-Korean women. The book talk reminded me that as much as Crying in H Mart is about navigating Korean culture and identity as someone who only partially belongs, it’s also about the universal experience of losing the ones you love most.
The moderator, Park, asked Zauner about a particular line in the book that comes after the death of her mother: “It felt like the world had divided into two different types of people, those who had felt pain and those who had yet to.” My ears instantly perked up as I recognized these words from the song “Posing In Bondage” from Japanese Breakfast’s 2021 album Jubilee. This line has always stood out to me when listening to Zauner’s music, but I must have missed it when I read Crying in H Mart.
Zauner explained that when you lose someone you love, it fundamentally changes you and how you view the world. Until you feel that loss for yourself, you can’t truly understand how those in that position feel. Just like Zauner perfectly encapsulates my feelings as a half-Korean woman trying to find my place in the world, she does the same for those who lost their loved ones and are desperately trying to keep their memories alive. Zauner does not shy away from the most gruesome details of her mother’s battle with cancer and how watching her mother slowly fade away took a toll on her. No matter who you are, there is likely an aspect of Crying in H Mart you will feel connected to.
Between more serious moments, Zauner shared heartwarming anecdotes about her family she wasn’t able to fit into the book, the struggles of finding good Korean food on tour, and her typical H Mart haul. Zauner and Park’s conversation lasted a little over an hour, but the time flew by thanks to Zauner’s candid and humorous personality. She made the sold-out hall feel like an intimate reunion between old friends.
At the end of the conversation, Zauner shared that she will be moving to South Korea in the near future to write her next book. I can’t wait to read what she publishes next, and fingers crossed this means a new Japanese Breakfast album is also on the way.
Allison Yang | KXSU News Team